What I Deserve

It’s nice if you have a great impression of yourself. However, it’s really easy to see only what you want you to see within a situation. This concept is called perceptual accentuation. It’s the technical term for overplaying the positive. With rose colored glasses, it’s favorable to look at life and get sucked into the notion, that if you’re good, good things will always follow you. I think that I am a reasonably good person. I try to be humble in mind and spirit. Much of the time, I try to give and do for others and keep generosity at the forefront. In my youth, I was the quintessential mama’s boy, doting after my mother’s every word. I fixed in my mind that no matter what happens, I should love my mother without questioning any of her ways. As I aged, that rule continued to broken. I wondered why my mother was always at work. I wondered why she had given the responsibility of raising me to my grandmother, and why finding time to spend with her was so difficult. No matter how hard I worked to earn my mother’s love, support, and affection nothing could change our strained relationship. My grandmother told me many times that she would never put me against my mother in any way. I felt I deserved a mother who was protective,  more demonstrative of affection, and more steadfast in the commitment to parenthood. So you see, working hard doesn’t guarantee good results. I had the perceptual accentuation that my mother would be thus and so. In the end,  life isn’t about what you deserve. It’s about accepting the positive and negative parts of any situation and understanding that what you deserve is not always what you stand to get and that’s OK.

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