Love conquers hate, but not indecision. If someone is not dependable, or they fail to decide who they are or what they want, it’s not our responsibility. The caring human response is often something like this:
“I care about_____________________. I wish they would not do __________ all the time. I love them so much! If I just show them how much I love them, they can change.
Don’t blind yourself with the mentality that loving someone always changes his or her value system. If you love a person, love them on your own merits. Love is deceptively beautiful. The idea that one person can cause us to feel some kind of euphoria that we have never known is amazing. When you love someone, it’s easy to think that your love is capable of some miraculous thing.
There are times when—MAYBE it is! But often, we must face the fact that our love does not replace the love of Jesus. The pride experienced from helping others is often another trap. It too has the power to distort our reality.
There are two great scriptures on Pride designed to warn us all about overthinking our intentions.
They are shown here.
Pride goes before destruction, and a high spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression – Proverbs 29:23
Each scripture teaches a single lesson related to the Love problem everyone gets victimized by.
Lesson one says: Pride goes before destruction. Pride is often an environmental disease of the spirit. I believe this means simply: “The moment people feel comfortable about knowing all there is to know about something, one occurrence destroys it all.
It’s good to believe that things will go well. It’s good to have positive reinforcement. However, God is mysterious. Just when we’ve gotten comfortable with something, God often allows something to happen that tests our faith.
I thought I studied hard for my first History test. I read the chapter a bit. I finished the assigned activity. Test time came and I drew a blank. I had believed that I had done enough to prepare for the test. It was objective, and although I’d read, it was clear I did not truly understand the material. I flunked that test and was very disappointed. The bottom line is: Keeping a humble spirit saves us from defeat. I learned to stop judging every situation based on what I thought, because what I think isn’t always what is real. I overthought my preparation and I failed myself. People can believe they are doing the “RIGHT” thing, and still be DEAD WRONG.
The last scripture says: An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man has a lot of transgressions.
Some people always search for a fight. It doesn’t matter what happens, these few people always find something to gripe about. It’s like they have a lust for trifles, and aren’t satisfied until they have uncovered something that provokes argument.
The hot-tempered person can appear as a “concerned” friend or family member. The naive individual goes to the hot-tempered, concerned person in confidence believing their word. After all, they know what’s best. However, each time the naive person asks the “concerned” person for help, the situation is several times more complicated then it should have been.
That’s because people that have anger problems often make simple things harder because they fail to control their temper. As a result, life is an anxious problem that must always be worried over. Worrying over all these problems divert attention from the true problem: I’ve got an anxious mindset.
Love can often fail at making a person less anxious. Furthermore, the person that loves the anxious individual can blame themselves because they believed that “LOVE” was enough to fix the anxiety. While anxiety can be a chronic illness not a value judgment, we must pay attention to individuals that are inconsolable.
If it’s clinical anxiety, there will be times when even medication and support fail to stop the patient from being depressed. I’ve often judged myself harshly because I thought that “LOVE” was all that depressed person needed. I’m not a clinician.
On these matters, the best thing to do is REMAIN. Be there for your depressed or anxious friend or family member, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If they are still depressed after you offer them options or support, have sympathy. Also, don’t take their condition as a rejection of your care for them. It’s easy to do that when you don’t understand that clinic depression is not a character choice, it’s literally a medical condition that requires medical support.
Here’s hoping that you’ll love with a better mindset. Thanks for reading.